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2016年11月SAT寫作考情回顧

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11月SAT考試已落下帷幕,下面對本次考試寫作部分進行回顧和分析。本次寫作考題選自The Wrong Way to Protect Elephants,作者GODFREY HARRIS and DANIEL STILES,全文共13段,作者論點是不應該通過禁止象牙進出口和交易來保護大象。
一、試題原文(精確版)
The Wrong Way to Protect Elephants
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By GODFREY HARRIS and DANIEL STILES
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P1 THE year was 1862. Abraham Lincoln was in the White House. “Taps” was first sounded as a lights-out bugle call. And Steinway & Sons was building its first upright pianos in New York.
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P2 The keys on those pianos were all fashioned from the ivory of African elephants. And that is why one of these uprights, the oldest one known to survive, in fact, is stuck in Japan.
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P3 The director of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service recently issued an order prohibiting the commercial importation of all African elephant ivory into the United States. (Commercial imports had been allowed in some instances, including for certain antiques.)
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P4 The Obama administration is also planning to implement additional rules that will prohibit, with narrow exceptions, both the export of African elephant ivory and its unfettered trade within the United States.
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P5 The Fish and Wildlife Service has said that these new rules will help stop the slaughter of elephants. But we believe that unless demand for ivory in Asia is reduced — through aggressive education programs there, tougher enforcement against the illegal ivory trade and the creation of a legal raw ivory market — these new American regulations will merely cause the price to balloon and the black market to flourish, pushing up the profit potential of continued poaching.
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P6 In short, these new rules proposed by the Fish and Wildlife Service may well end up doing more harm than good to the African elephant.
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P7 What these regulations will also do is make the import, export and interstate sale of almost any object with African elephant ivory virtually impossible. Anyone who owns any antique African elephant ivory — whether it is an Edwardian bracelet inherited from a grandmother or an ivory-handled Georgian silver tea set owned by an antiques dealer — will be unable to ship or sell it without unimpeachable documentation that proves it is at least 100 years old, has not been repaired or modified with elephant ivory since 1973, and that it arrived in the United States through one of 13 ports of entry.
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P8 The story of the Steinway underscores the complexity, rigidity and absurdity of these rules. The piano was salvaged years ago by Ben Treuhaft, a professional piano technician. When his wife took an academic job in Japan, he shipped the piano along with their other household possessions to Tokyo. They moved to Scotland after the Fukushima nuclear accident three years ago, leaving the piano in storage in Japan to be shipped later. Now Mr. Treuhaft is ready to return the piano to the United States and place it in the hands of a friend who planned to display it at her piano shop.
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P9 But the piano remains in Japan. It lacks the paperwork necessary to clear customs in the United States because Mr. Treuhaft failed, when he shipped the piano abroad, to obtain the required export permit identifying the ivory keys and the piano’s provenance. In the past, the government might have exercised some discretion over Mr. Treuhaft’s oversight. But no more. Moreover, to meet the personal-use exception for an import, the piano would have to be shipped back as part of a household move, and he wants to send it to a friend.
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P10 So the piano that Steinway says is its oldest known upright is stuck in Japan.
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P11 Of course, Mr. Treuhaft is not the only one who is or will be hurt or inconvenienced by this draconian order from the Fish and Wildlife Service, or the new rules that the administration seeks to impose. Musicians already complain of a burdensome process and monthslong delays in securing permits to take their instruments containing ivory abroad. And collectors, gun owners and antiques dealers say they have been blindsided by the proposed rules, which will effectively render their African elephant ivory pieces worthless unless they can meet the extremely difficult standards necessary to sell them.
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P12 We suggest a different approach. We should encourage China, where much of the poached ivory ends up, to start a detailed public education campaign that underscores the damage done to elephant populations by the illegal trade in ivory. We also need more aggressive enforcement of anti-poaching efforts in Africa. And we should figure out a way to manage the trade in raw ivory to protect elephants. For instance, several years ago, ivory stockpiles owned by several African countries were sold in a series of United Nations-approved auctions in an effort to undercut illegal ivory trafficking. The proceeds went to elephant conservation efforts. This is a better approach than destroying these stockpiles, as the United States did last fall to six tons of ivory.
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P13 Leaving Mr. Treuhaft’s piano in Japan will not save African elephants. But it will further endanger them and diminish the lives of those who recognize and value the role of ivory in history and culture.
二、文章分析
P1-2:開篇兩段引入了一個之后貫穿文章始終的小故事,一架1862年的施坦威立式鋼琴,由于琴鍵用非洲象牙制作,懷璧其罪,目前滯留在日本,無法入境美國。
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P3:解釋了上一段鋼琴無法進入美國的原因:美國魚類及野生動植物管理局(USFWS)最近禁止了一切非洲象牙進口美國。
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P4:奧巴馬政府準備更進一步,禁止美國國內非洲象牙出口和不受管制的交易。文章引入部分到此結束,之后進入論證部分。
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P5 : USFWS說這些規定旨在阻止大象遭到屠殺。作者反對,說重點應該是遏制亞洲對象牙的需求,否則這些規定只會導致黑市繁榮價格上漲。
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P6:總結上一段:這些規定只會讓非洲象的處境更為艱難。
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P7:這些規定的另一個壞處:嚴重影響幾乎任何象牙制品的進出口和洲際交易。
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P8:詳述文章開頭那架鋼琴的故事,側重其歷史淵源,如何從美國漂洋過海到了日本,主人Mr. Treuhaft后來去了蘇格蘭,現在又打算將其運回美國。
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P9:繼續鋼琴的故事,側重現狀,滯留日本,說明象牙禁令造成的種種不便。
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P10:鋼琴的故事結束。以上三段通過詳述文章開頭那架鋼琴的故事,證明之前規定的繁縟、僵化和荒謬(complexity, rigidity and absurdity)。
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P11:在前幾段Mr. Treuhaft的個案外推到受禁令影響的群體,如音樂家、收藏家、槍支擁有者和古董商,用更多事實性證據來加強前段的論點,說明象牙禁令的缺點。
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P12:在連續多段對象牙禁令持續批判之后,作者給出了更好的解決方案:鼓勵中國啟動公共教育項目,在非洲強力執行反偷獵,以及管控未加工象牙的交易。
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P13:再次呼應文章開頭的鋼琴,重申象牙禁令的不合理。
三、寫作思路(僅供參考)
P1-2:可以看作一個background story,其作用是引起讀者好奇,為什么那架鋼琴會stuck in Japan?
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P5:word choice,balloon和flourish兩個詞可以突出象牙禁令所起到的反效果有多么嚴重。
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P6:appeal to emotion,通過end up doing more harm than good to the African elephant喚起人們對于大象的同情和保護欲。
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P7:evidence,通過100 years old,has not been repaired or modified with elephant ivory since 1973和through one of 13 ports of entry來說明象牙禁令的另一個壞處:嚴重影響幾乎任何象牙制品的進出口和洲際交易。
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P8-10:example,通過鋼琴的故事和Mr. Treuhaft的遭遇,證明象牙禁令的繁縟、僵化和荒謬(complexity, rigidity and absurdity)。
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P11:word choice,這一段最有特色的一個詞就是draconian,這個詞來自于Draco(ancient Greek judge who had criminals killed for very small crimes),作形容詞意為very strict and cruel,在文中突出象牙禁令造成的不便。

總結

本次作文相當簡單,觀點明確,結構清晰,語言簡單,整體難度低于10月亞太和北美題,和5月北美相當。雖然全文共13段,但形散神不散,而且有一條線索貫穿全文,如果還經歷過上一次10月作文題全文15段的洗禮,那么處理起來應該毫無壓力了。


作者:朱敏琦

沃邦教育SAT教研組研究員,教齡11年,新SAT1510,老SAT2300,ACT寫作33分;翻譯碩士,中國譯協會員,100萬筆譯經驗,30萬字申請文書經驗,譯著《在大英博物館讀古希臘》。

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